We’ll Never Be Friends Again – Friendship Myths #4 – Purity 1336
Purity 1336 04/26/2024 Purity 1336 Podcast
Purity 1336 on YouTube:
Good morning,
Today’s photo of a sailboat on turquoise crystal clear blue waters under pleasant blue skies comes to us from an unknown FB friend who shared this tropical paradise scene on social media on or around July 27, 2021, causing us to “sail away” in our imaginations and to save it to our phones photo gallery. If this photo is yours, give us a heads up and we will update the blog after the fact to give you the appropriate photo credit.
Well, it’s Friday my friends, and while I suspect today’s photo is a shot from the Turks and Caicos Islands area, I don’t recall who the FB friend was who may have shared it and frankly, at this point I can’t even assume the photographer is still a friend! Season and people change and as we have pointed out over the last few days in our current series on friendship myths, we know that friendships can and do end.
But while we are encouraging the normalization of the belief that it’s okay that friendships end we also want to combat the other extreme belief that surrounds this unfortunate fact of life – which is that once a friendship has ended, we can never be friends again!
We were inspired to start this series in part from Sara Epstein’s 2022 Psychology Today article (https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/between-the-generations/202202/8-destructive-beliefs-about-friendship) about destructive beliefs about friendship and here is what she had to say about the myth that:
“Once a friendship fades, it will never come back”. She writes “While some friendships do fizzle permanently, others come back stronger after a period apart or a particularly difficult stretch. Childhood friends may find that they drifted in college and found more common ground in adulthood. A friend going through a difficult personal period may pull back and re-emerge later. A big event or the confluence of a life phase (say, having children at the same time) can draw people back together who previously drifted apart. There is no single roadmap for friendship and closeness.”
As I have pointed out, the enemy’s lies and common destructive beliefs, or myths, tend to have extreme language that set up a high, and possibly hopeless, standard of expectations that are doomed to failure driving us to disappointment, disillusionment, or despair.
The idea that a once cherished friendship that has been dissolved or that has been broken will never be repaired or will return to us doesn’t exactly fill us with the warm fuzzies and the unseen demonic forces of darkness will seek to take this destructive belief and use it to torment us (You’ll never be friends again!! You must be a terrible person…) or will use it to keep us sad and isolated (What’s the point of making friends… everybody leaves you eventually anyway.. isn’t that sad… or what’s the point!).
You can see that these mental whisperings (referred to as the “fiery darts of the wicked one” in Eph 6:16) are intended to steal our joy, a fruit of the Spirit, and to drive us into:
- Temptation – causing us to comfort ourselves, independently of God, with food, alcohol, drugs, shopping, entertainment, or sex.
- Despair – causing us to isolate, not love our neighbors as ourselves, not serve God’s kingdom, not share the gospel, and possibly drive us to suicide!
While I can’t guarantee that lost or broken friendships will be restored, (some friendships are destined to end and appreciation and acceptance of that fact could be a source of peace in itself), I would encourage you to renounce the lie that our friendships will “never” come back. We don’t know the future and instead of pretending that we do we should remain open to whatever possibilities that the Lord will direct.
An example from scripture that demonstrates that friendships can be restored is the example of Paul and (John) Mark.
Acts 15:37-40 (NKJV) tells us about the drama,
37 Now Barnabas was determined to take with them John called Mark.
38 But Paul insisted that they should not take with them the one who had departed from them in Pamphylia, and had not gone with them to the work.
39 Then the contention became so sharp that they parted from one another. And so Barnabas took Mark and sailed to Cyprus;
40 but Paul chose Silas and departed, being commended by the brethren to the grace of God.
Mark had deserted them in the mission field and Paul didn’t forget it. While Barnabus, the encourager, sought to restore Mark, Paul was “done with him” and the contention over the issue caused the parties to split and in those days, we didn’t have social media and the perilous journey of sharing the gospel didn’t guarantee you would ever see each other again. Although both parties went on the serve God’s kingdom, we could easily think that Mark and Paul would NEVER be friends again. But as Epstein points out in her article, some friendships “come back stronger after a period apart or a particularly difficult stretch.”
Later when Paul was in prison and was facing the end of his life, he wrote a letter to Timothy to set his affairs in order.
In 2 Timothy 4:11 (NKJV) Paul writes:
11 Only Luke is with me. Get Mark and bring him with you, for he is useful to me for ministry.
Yup, it’s that “Mark”. In his final hours, Paul “requested only five things: for Timothy to come soon (v 9), for him to bring Mark with him (v 11), and to bring his cloak, his books, and the parchments (v 13).” (http://glorybooks.org/paul-barnabas-split-progression-john-mark/)
We don’t ask for the company of our enemies in the end and beyond “being useful for ministry”, we can conclude that Mark and Paul were friends again.
With God nothing is over until He says it is over and while we should accept what each day brings and accept and normalize the hard “facts of life” – sometimes friendships do end permanently, and that’s okay- we should avoid declaring “never” over anything because we simply don’t know what the future holds. If the Lord wills it, even the most unlikely of events will come to pass and so we should be open to, and maybe even hopeful for, the possibility that lost friendships may be restored some day.
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For those who want more evidence for Christianity than my simple encouragements provide, I offer apologist, Frank Turek’s website, https://crossexamined.org/ .
Today’s Bible verses come to us from “The Quick Scripture Reference for Counseling” By John G. Kruis.
( While Bible verses on various topics of Counseling can be found with a quick Google search, we encourage you to purchase this resource to support the late author’s work. (https://www.amazon.com/Quick-Scripture-Reference-Counseling-Kruis-ebook/dp/B00CIUJZT2?ref_=ast_author_dp )
This morning’s meditation verses come from the section on Death and Eternal Life
1 Thessalonians 5:9-11 (NASB)
9 For God has not destined us for wrath, but for obtaining salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ,
10 who died for us, so that whether we are awake or asleep, we will live together with Him.
11 Therefore encourage one another and build up one another, just as you also are doing.
Today’s verses fall under the eightteenth point of our counseling reference guide resource’s section on Death and Eternal Life.
18. Jesus died so that we may live forever with him. Encourage one another with this truth.
Today’s verses tell us quite clearly that we are not destined for God’s wrath – He’s not mad at us! – but through our faith in Jesus Christ, He has called us to live with Him forever. Whether we are “awake or asleep” – that is if we are alive or dead – we will live together with God! That means now guys! I have faith in Jesus and I’m not dead and so my course through life should be guided by the knowledge the God lives with me! The promise of eternal life and God’s continual presence in our lives is why we can encourage one another and build one another up. Our joy over our salvation and our relationship with God should infuse our lives with hope and purpose. So let’s encourage each other with the knowledge that God’s not mad at us and, on the contrary, He is with us and will be with us whether we live or die. We don’t have to be afraid. We are accepted, secure, and significant in Christ and we will live with God now and forever. So keep walking and talking with Him and encourage one another in our faith every day.
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As always, I invite all to go to mt4christ.com where I always share insights from prominent Christian theologians and counselors to assist my brothers and sisters in Christ with their walk.
Today we continue sharing from “According to Your Word: Morning and Evening Through the New Testament” By Stephen F. Olford – A Collection of Devotional Journals: 1940-1941.
As always, I share this information for educational purposes and encourage you all to purchase Olford’s books for your own private study and to support his work. This resource is available online for less than $10 at many sites.
EVENING READING: ACTS 7
“Brethren and fathers, listen.” – Acts 7:2
What has impressed me more than anything else in the reading of this chapter is Stephen’s amazing knowledge of the now known “Old Testament.” From the second verse until the fiftieth, he gives a most comprehensive and yet precise resumé of Old Testament history. How he must have studied the Scriptures! How acquainted he must have been with them, for a flow of language concerning his subject such as seen in these verses would have otherwise been impossible. The Holy Spirit only brings to remembrance such things as one has learned. Stephen must have been a real student of the Word, as was His Master.
Give me the power and needed grace, Lord,
to study to show myself approved unto God,
rightly dividing the Word of Truth.[1]
—————————more tomorrow————————
Join our “Victory over the Darkness”, “The Bondage Breaker”, “Freedom in Christ” series of Discipleship Classes via the mt4christ247 podcast!
at https://mt4christ247.podbean.com, You can also find it on Apple podcasts
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Email me at mt4christ247@gmail.com to receive the class materials, share your progress, and to be encouraged.
My wife, TammyLyn, also offers Christian encouragement via her Ask Seek Knock blog (https://tammylynask.blogspot.com/ ), her Facebook Group: Ask, Seek, Knock (https://www.facebook.com/groups/529047851449098 ) and her podcast Ask, Seek, and Knock on Podbean (https://feed.podbean.com/tammalyn78/feed.xml)
“The views, opinions, and commentary of this publication are those of the author, M.T. Clark, only, and do not purport to reflect the opinions or views of any of the photographers, artists, ministries, or other authors of the other works that may be included in this publication, and do not necessarily reflect the views or positions of any entities the author may represent.”
Encouragement for the Path of Christian Discipleship
[1] Stephen Olford and Heather Olford, According to Your Word: Morning and Evening Through the New Testament, A Collection of Devotional Journals 1940-1941 (Nashville, TN: B&H Books, 2008).
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