Persistence – Problem solver or Problem child? – Purity 658
Purity
658 02/18/2022 Purity 658 Podcast
Good
morning,
Today’s photo of yellow and
purple flowers amongst green grass and shrubbery in the foreground of the coast
of Monterey Bay comes to us from a friend who is the midst of a west coast
vacation tour as they began in Seattle, Washington, went through Oregon and now
made it quite a way south to be in Monterey, California all in the matter of a
few days. It’s amazing how far we can
go in such a short time and I myself will be in awe of the quantum leap that
travel can provide as I begin my vacation/honeymoon at the end of the workday
today!
Yes, Thank God It’s Friday! And Thank God
for all that He has done in our lives!
This morning I am rejoicing over so much because God is good, and He
wants us to appreciate what we have and where our life’s journey has taken
us.
First of all, I am ecstatic that Podbean
resolved the problem I was having with the podcast. From what I can surmise, Podbean must have instituted
some measures of data protection that they didn’t have in place previously
because tech support indicated that there was a “soft limit” to amount of data
we could upload which they could expand in an instant. My guess is that a system update put this “soft
limit” on all the Podbean accounts to make sure the people with “free” Podbean accounts
weren’t uploading beyond “this soft limit”.
For any of those “free users” that reached this “soft limit” of
uploading they were being introduced to the choice to pay for an unlimited plan
or choose not to upload again until next month!
It’s my guess that this was Podbean’s
corporate efforts to make their system more efficient and to “make them pay”.
Well, I did pay and when tech support responded to my second trouble ticket
(did they not get the first one?) the matter was resolved instantly.
This whole minidrama points out how big a
role that technology can play in our lives and how it can be a blessing because
of the benefits it brings to our lives but how it can also become a curse when
the technology doesn’t work.
You have to love the irony that surrounds
the fact that often when we take steps to fix a problem or to improve things it
sometimes leads to a whole host of problems that we didn’t anticipate and there
seems to be an adjustment period where there is turmoil until we get the kinks
worked out.
Thus is life, a series of problems and our
efforts to correct them. As my pastor once
said, in life we will be remembered as either “someone who fixed problems” or
as “someone who was problem”.
I am far less of a problem than I used to be,
and I now endeavor to help people with their problems by sharing what I have
learned through the various trials and errors of my life and the lessons I have
learned from the Lord about who I am in
Christ and how to live according to His ways rather than mine.
When problems arise, sometimes our efforts
to fix them can frustrate us more than the problem itself because our minds,
wills, and emotions seek to impose our desire to control the situation when we
can’t.
One lesson we may learn in life, which has
some truth in it, is that if we get angry or upset and complain, that someone
will fix it. The more we make a stink,
the more people will rush in to resolve our problem.
However, I think people who utilize this
strategy often enough will become people we will be remember as people who were
“a problem”.
These self-centered, self-important
demanders of satisfaction make a nuisance of themselves and even though they are difficult, nasty, and somewhat
immature in their imposing of their will over situations, they somehow get their
way.
Not only that, but they will also preach to
others the wisdom of being pushy and will tell you all about how “nice guys
finish last”.
Pushers of self interest will even use
Jesus’ parable of the persistent widow in Luke 18 as a proof text of how we are
to be persistent to get what we want.
I would point out that while our faith
demands persistence, Jesus’ parable of the persistent widow, or the unjust
judge, was teaching us that,
Luke 18:1 (NKJV)
1 … men always ought to pray
and not lose heart,
Which indicates a dependence on God, not a on our self- sufficiency.
And that is the persistence that I would encourage people to walk
in, the one that relies on God and expresses the fruit of the Spirit. Some of the fruits of the spirit are “peace, goodness,
kindness, patience, gentleness, and self-control.”
Self-control is not being controlling of other “selfs”. Being a whiny, complaining, demanding person,
and exhibiting kindness, gentleness, goodness, and patience in a genuine
fashion are hard to imagine coexisting, although I could imagine some wolves in
sheep’s clothing who think they can pull it off. Careful Christian Karen… or Karl….
Jesus Christ didn’t demand justice and He didn’t defend himself.
He suffered ridicule and scorn and allowed his rights to be violated right to
the point of death. Jesus’ life and death showed that He walked the walk as
well as talked the talk, as His sermon on the mount in Matthew 5:38-48 spoke of
valuing others more than ourselves, suffering persecution, and loving our enemies.
So when the “almighty ME”, rises up in our spirit to demand
satisfaction we should pause and look at ourselves to see if we are a person
looking to fix a problem or if we have lost our goodness, kindness, gentleness,
patience, and self-control to the point that we have become “a problem”.
Man, it can be a fine line between persistence and pushiness but
as someone who had to walk though more than one season to overcome major obstacles
in my life I can tell you that for the big problems, you can push, complain, and
cry all you want but that strategy won’t move the mountain before you.
No, for the big problems in life that can take months or years to
overcome, you have to let that stuff go and put your eyes on the horizon and
take steps toward the light of resolution even though there will be miles to travel
before you are out of the darkness.
What do you do with these problems? What do you do with that?
Well, that’s where you learn what real persistence is. That where
you learn what patience is. While you certainly
can have moments of anger and outrage along the path, its best to let them go
and keep your eyes on the prize and grow in the fruit of the Spirit by walking and
talking with God.
That’s what Jesus was teaching us, to always pray and to not lose
heart.
And man, I can tell you that when you overcome, when you get free,
when that mountain is moved, or when you emerge from the valley of the shadow
of death, you will know the wisdom in doing things God’s way.
Not only will you have joy that you will be able to recall and
revisit to empower your walk for the rest of your days because you have been
delivered, but you will have the peace that comes from knowing that you did it in
God’s presence and according to the Lord’s direction.
You took the path least travelled. You did things the way God
would have wanted you to. And even though it was not easy, and even though you
suffered along the way, because of the Lord’s presence, strength, and wisdom in
your life you have made it through.
So be persistent in prayer and don’t lose heart, by relying on the
Lord and His ways rather than the ways of the world that “work” but compromise
who you are as a child of God and representative of His kingdom.
Today’s Bible verses come to us from “The NLT Bible Promise Book
for Men”.
This morning’s meditation verse is:
Psalm 119:125 (NLT2)
125 Give discernment to me,
your servant; then I will understand your laws.
Today’s Bible
verse speaks a simple request to the Lord to give us discernment to understand
God’s laws.
Okay, I would just like to remind those of you who
are the legal analysts out there that our walk with the Lord is not a matter of
rule keeping, it is a relationship. Also
as I have stated before the concept of “law” should be understood to be “instruction”,
a divine testimony of how we should live our lives.
So the psalmist
in this verse is basically praying to the Lord for discernment and understanding
on how they should live their lives according to His ways. The psalmist is requesting guidance on how to
“walk in the Spirit”!
I would like to
point out that the ways of God are spiritually discerned which means that the
truth of God’s word, the experiential “eureka moment” impact of spiritual discernment,
comes from the Holy Spirit revealing it to us.
So it is
important to ask the Lord for His wisdom in an attitude of continuous prayer. Part
of seeking the Lord continuously in our lives is continually asking for His
help and guidance in the things we should know and do.
The living
revelation of the Lord that comes from the Holy Spirit really testifies to the
presence of God in our lives and the progressive nature of our faith.
Suddenly a
Bible verse that we have read several times becomes meaningful to us in a way
it wasn’t before because the Holy Spirit is revealing it to us. He is giving us
discernment and understanding as we seek it!
The Lord loves us,
and He wants us to get to know Him more.
So when I say, keep walking and talking with God, I really mean it!
Now you know
what to talk about. Ask Him to give you
discernment and understanding of His ways and apply His wisdom to your life to
reap the benefits of your growing relationship with the One who all knows all
things.
As always, I invite all to go to mt4christ.org
where I always share insights from prominent Christian theologians and counselors
to assist my brothers and sisters in Christ with their walk.
Today we continue sharing from June Hunt’s Codependency:
Balancing an Unbalanced Relationship.
As always, I share this information for educational purposes
and encourage all to purchase June Hunt’s books for your own private study and to
support his work. This resource is
available on many websites for less than $5.00.
C. What Are Common Codependent Relationships?
In a codependent relationship, one person is seen as weak and the
other as strong. The weak one appears totally dependent on the strong
one. But the one who appears strong is actually weak because of the
excessive need to be needed by the weak one. In fact, the strong
one needs for the weak one to stay weak, which in turn keeps the strong
one feeling strong.
The ultimate solution—God’s solution—for both of these weak persons
is not to try to draw strength from each other, but rather to derive their
strength from God. The Bible says,
“He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the
weak.” (Isaiah
40:29)
Common Codependent Relationships
- A
wife is excessively helpless around her husband…
and the husband needs his wife to stay helpless. - A
husband is excessively needy in how he relates to his wife…
and the wife needs him to stay needy. - A
student is excessively tied to a teacher… and the
teacher needs the student to stay tied. - A
child is excessively pampered by the parent… and
the parent needs the child to stay in need of pampering. - A
parent is excessively protected by the child… and
the child needs the parent to stay in need of protection. - An
employee is excessively entangled with an employer…
and the employer needs the employee to stay entangled. - A
friend is excessively fixated on another friend…
and that person needs the friend to stay fixated. - A
counselee is excessively clinging to a counselor…
and the counselor needs the counselee to continue clinging. - A
disciple is excessively dependent on a discipler…
and the discipler needs the disciple to stay dependent. - A victim
is excessively vulnerable to a victimizer… and the
victimizer needs the victim to stay vulnerable. - A
layperson is excessively leaning on a spiritual leader…
and the leader needs the layperson to continue leaning.
When we have a misplaced dependency, we have a misplaced trust. We
are excessively trusting in the relationship to provide more than God intended.
The Psalms describe a misplaced trust….
“Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of
the Lord our God.” (Psalm 20:7)
Question: “When I was a struggling addict, my
wife held our home together. Now that I have truly changed, why is she
continually upset and threatening divorce?”
Answer: You
changed the dynamic! After an alcoholic becomes healthy and whole, the strong
codependent mate is no longer needed in the same way. The new dynamic changes
the balance in the relationship. The strong one, who no longer feels
needed in the same way, could choose to divorce, and remarry another needy mate
in order to feel needed again. Obviously, divorce is not the solution.
For both of you to become emotionally balanced and spiritually healthy is
the solution. Just as every alcoholic needs to overcome alcoholism, every
codependent needs to overcome codependency. The Bible says,
“Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be
transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and
approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” (Romans 12:2)
Question: “In the parent-child relationship, what
is the difference between bonding and enmeshment?”
Answer:
- —Healthy
bonding occurs when parents are connected with their children by
being God’s instruments to meet their basic physical, emotional, and
spiritual needs. With healthy bonding, nurturing flows naturally from
parent to child, leaving the child emotionally fulfilled and whole. - —Unhealthy
enmeshment occurs when parents need an excessive connection
with their children in order to get their own emotional needs met. With enmeshment,
nurturing flows unnaturally from child to parent, leaving the child
emotionally drained and empty.
“Children should not have to save up for their parents, but parents
for their children.” (2 Corinthians 12:14)
D. What Is Biblical Dependency?
- God
wants you to depend on Him—to totally rely on Him, not on people or
things or self-effort.
“My salvation and my honor depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my
refuge.” (Psalm
62:7) - God
wants you to depend on Him—to believe that He will meet all of your
needs. You can safely reveal your hurts, your fears, and your needs to
God. He will be your Need-Meeter.
“The Lord will guide
you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will
strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a
spring whose waters never fail.” (Isaiah 58:11)
- God
wants you to depend on Him—to trust in Him to take care of your loved
ones.
“Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him,
for God is our refuge.” (Psalm 62:8)
- God
wants you to depend on Him—to rely on Christ, whose life in you will
enable you to overcome any destructive dependency.
“The one [Christ] who is in you is greater than the one [Satan]
who is in the world.” (1 John 4:4)
Question: “What is the difference between a
codependent marriage and a healthy marriage?”
Answer:
- —An
Unhealthy, Codependent Marriage - »
The weak spouse has a deep-seated need for security and
continually looks to the strong spouse to meet all needs. This
means that the weak one stays weak. - »
The supposedly strong spouse has a deep-seated need for
significance and tries to meet all the needs of the weaker partner
in order to make that mate dependent on the relationship. - —A
Healthy, Interdependent Marriage - »
Each emphasizes the other’s strengths and encourages the other partner to
overcome personal weaknesses. - »
Each encourages the other to be dependent on the Lord, while being
responsive to the legitimate needs of the other.
“Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to
the interests of others.” (Philippians 2:4)
Biblical Counseling Keys: Codependency: Balancing an
Unbalanced Relationship.
—————————more
tomorrow————————
Join our “Victory over the Darkness”, “The Bondage Breaker”,
“Freedom in Christ” series of Discipleship Classes via the
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My wife, TammyLyn, also offers Christian encouragement via her Facebook
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Encouragement for the Path of Christian
Discipleship
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