For Estranged Fathers and Sons – The Prodigal Son’s Dad Stayed Home – Purity 1377
Purity 1377 06/17/2024 Purity 1377 Podcast
Purity 1377 on YouTube:
Good morning,
Today’s photo of the right of way running parallel to Freedom Road as the darkness falls over the land with the skies lit up by the last glories of sunset comes to us from yours truly as I was blessed with spectacular light show during my early evening stroll to one of my favorite places on Friday evening.
Well, It’s Monday and Father’s Day weekend is behind us and I am happy to report that my daughter Haley honored me with a Father’s Day card that specifically expressed her appreciation for my life, my faith, and my example as someone who is committed to the Lord, is willing to serve Him, and desires to honor Him always. She had to work yesterday, and I was in bed asleep before she returned home but her simple gesture made my Father’s Day. That’s the good news.
But unfortunately, my son, Brennan, and I seem to be on the “outs” in terms of our relationship since his abrupt decision to move out of my house when I demanded that he get a job and a haircut at the end of March. While he seemed agreeable to getting a job the haircut request offended him and he has been living at his sister, Jeanette’s place ever since. While I have reached out on a couple of occasions to check in and sent a message to Brennan yesterday, he has refused to respond or communicate with me. According to what I can glean from social media and reports from others, Brennan has let his hair grow to its longest length ever but is still unemployed. As for his struggles with depression, which caused him to quit his job back in January, the reports tell me that he is “ok, although I have difficulty imagining how that could be. But he doesn’t live with me anymore and I have decided to let him live his life even if that means we don’t have any contact with one another. I love my son and I forgive him for not contacting my on Father’s Day because that’s what we do as Christians, we forgive, and because I can only suspect that his failure to communicate with me is a sign that he isn’t “right”. I don’t know whether he is bitter, angry, ashamed, apathetic, anxious, or depressed but even in the secular world there is an expectation to participate in the “Hallmark holiday” of Father’s Day by expressing your gratitude and love for one’s father and if you don’t participate there is something wrong in your relationship.
When the son fails to reach out to the father, after the father tries to communicate with the son, like I did, the responsibility for the riff in the relationship, regardless of justifications and rationalizations, falls on the son. He chooses to not be in a relationship with his father.
So, my son didn’t reach out to wish me a Happy Father’s Day and chose to ignore the message that I sent to him and his sister on FB messenger, and yes – the app indicates that he did see it. But rather than responding angrily or in despair, I choose to forgive my son Brennan for his rejection of me and our relationship and will pray that the Lord will help him to find to forgive me – I’ve asked for it, and to be a responsible adult.
Instead of dwelling on our estrangement, I’m letting it go. I’m releasing my son from any familial obligations to me and realize that this may mean that my relationship with my son has ended. I’ll always be his father and he will always be my son of course, but as for our getting together, he’s an adult and if he chooses to not associate or communicate with me any longer, I accept his decision. I hold no ill will towards him and pray for him to flourish in life. A man has to find his own way and I am entrusting my son in the Lord’s care and releasing him to find it.
That’s where I am now. And I’m glad to be here because when you have trouble in your relationships, it’s not surprising to feel a measure of guilt for the things you have said and done that caused the division – some of the things I said to motivate my son out of his depression and lethargy were selfish and unkind – but I did apologize and will stand by the basic principles of personal responsibility that I tried to instill in my son. The relational difficulties between us stemmed from his failure to be responsible – he stopped working, he stopped taking care of himself, he refused to do what was right and he fell into a depression and instead of taking corrective action, he has chosen to play the victim and be dependent on others for his personal needs. That’s not who I raised him to be and if that’s the person he has chosen to be, he can be that in someone else’s home. His failure to get a job since leaving my house indicates that my living conditions weren’t the problem. The problem stems from a rebellious and entitled attitude and the decisions that he has made from them.
In trying to find some comfort in the word of God I examined many scriptures yesterday and I was reminded that while parents are to love their children, they are supposed to teach them in the way they should go – to follow the Lord’s wisdom – which repeatedly points to integrity, diligence, work, righteousness, and personal responsibility.
That’s not how my son chose to live, and he has suffered for it. As I prayed yesterday, I didn’t get the impression that I was supposed to bend over backwards to try to restore our relationship. This morning while I took the matter to the Lord in prayer, I was reminded of the parable of the prodigal son and how the Father gave his son his inheritance, before he died, and let him go his own way. While the father loved the son, he didn’t go chasing after him. He didn’t drag him home against his will and because of the times you don’t get the impression that the father was getting any communications for the son. The father stayed home and waited. And it was only because the son learned from the errors of his ways that the son made the decision to humble himself and restore their relationship.
So I practiced a little benevolent detachment this morning, I surrendered everyone and everything to God- including my relationship with my Son, trusting that whatever happens, I was faithful to the Lord and tried to show my son His ways for living. So I’m letting go and getting God with this and I will go on in following what the Lord lead me to.
So, I hope that helps anyone out there who may be estranged in their relationships. I pray that the Lord uses this to comfort you or to cause you to forgive and restore relationships that you have chosen to end, or not. Our relationship with God comes first and we must follow Him, knowing that family and friends may reject us. But our peace and joy have to come from the Lord and our relationship with Him and from our efforts to follow His way for living.
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For those who want more evidence for Christianity than my simple encouragements provide, I offer apologist, Frank Turek’s website, https://crossexamined.org/ .
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Today’s Bible verse comes to us from “The Quick Scripture Reference for Counseling” By John G. Kruis.
( While Bible verses on various topics of Counseling can be found with a quick Google search, we encourage you to purchase this resource to support the late author’s work. (https://www.amazon.com/Quick-Scripture-Reference-Counseling-Kruis-ebook/dp/B00CIUJZT2?ref_=ast_author_dp )
This morning’s meditation verses come from the section on Divorce.
Deuteronomy 24:1-4 (ESV)
1 “When a man takes a wife and marries her, if then she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, and she departs out of his house, 2 and if she goes and becomes another man’s wife,
3 and the latter man hates her and writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, or if the latter man dies, who took her to be his wife, 4 then her former husband, who sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after she has been defiled, for that is an abomination before the LORD. And you shall not bring sin upon the land that the LORD your God is giving you for an inheritance.
Today’s verses fall under the sixth point of our counseling reference guide resource’s section on Divorce.
6. Mosaic law speaks of a bill of divorce.
Today’s verses indicate that divorce should be done an orderly and legal fashion. If you need to make the difficult decision to divorce try to do so in a manner that gives glory to God- be righteous, forgive, and try to make peace.
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As always, I invite all to go to mt4christ.com where I always share insights from prominent Christian theologians and counselors to assist my brothers and sisters in Christ with their walk.
Today we continue sharing from “According to Your Word: Morning and Evening Through the New Testament” By Stephen F. Olford – A Collection of Devotional Journals: 1940-1941.
As always, I share this information for educational purposes and encourage you all to purchase Olford’s books for your own private study and to support his work. This resource is available online for less than $10 at many sites.
MORNING READING: 1 CORINTHIANS 4
“But with me it is a very small thing that I should
be judged by you or by a human court… . He who
judges me is the Lord.” – 1 Corinthians 4:3
The hallmark of true stewardship is faithfulness. The words of my blessed Lord in that day will be, “Well done, good and faithful [not successful] servant” (Matt. 25:21). True faithfulness is heart attitude before God. “Without faith it is impossible to please Him” (Heb. 11:6). “Whatever is not from faith is sin” (Rom. 14:23). Faithfulness, then, can be judged by my own heart attitude to God – or fellowship with Him. As long as that fellowship is maintained, I please Him, and this is faithfulness. When that fellowship is broken through the intrusion of sin or straying out of the path of light, the fellowship is broken and I can know it. Therefore, the apostle could say, “It is a very small thing that I should be judged by you or by a human court. In fact, I do not even judge myself. For I know nothing against myself, yet I am not justified by this; but He who judges me is the Lord” (1 Cor. 3-4).
When that time arrives, may You judge me
to have been good and faithful. Amen.[1]
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“The views, opinions, and commentary of this publication are those of the author, M.T. Clark, only, and do not purport to reflect the opinions or views of any of the photographers, artists, ministries, or other authors of the other works that may be included in this publication, and do not necessarily reflect the views or positions of any entities the author may represent.”
Encouragement for the Path of Christian Discipleship
[1] Stephen Olford and Heather Olford, According to Your Word: Morning and Evening Through the New Testament, A Collection of Devotional Journals 1940-1941 (Nashville, TN: B&H Books, 2008).
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