The Blame Game – A Matter of the Heart – Purity 1664
Purity 1664 05/21/2025 Purity 1664 Audio Podcast
Purity 1664 on YouTube:
Good morning,
Today’s “enlightened photo” of the lush green foliage and rising horizons of the Catskill Mountains comes to us from yours truly as I capture scene while hiking along the Palmer Hill Trail in Andes NY back on June 12, 2016th. The weather that day wasn’t as bright as I would have liked so I did a little editing to bring out the colors of what were there but was just harder to see.
Well, It’s Wednesday and I share today’s “hilly” photo to visually represent our arrival to another midweek summit, happy hump day, and to remind us that just because things are not ideal in our circumstances it doesn’t mean that all is lost. It may just require a change in our perspective to see the beauty that is already there. We tend to focus on the things that aren’t right in life so in order to avoid the negative mind states of depression, anger, bitterness, anxiety, or fear we have to utilize our ability to see the good that God has blessed us with.
However, at the same time, we have to be grounded in truth and be willing to take an honest assessment of not only our surrounding environment but also the landscape of our hearts.
Last night, my wife, TammyLyn, and I attended a Marriage class at our local church which utilizes Paul David Tripp’s book, Marriage: 6 Gospel Commitments Every Couple Needs to Make, and accompanying teaching videos. In the presentation Tripp, shared:
Luke 6:43-45 (NLT) which says 43 “A good tree can’t produce bad fruit, and a bad tree can’t produce good fruit. 44 A tree is identified by its fruit. Figs are never gathered from thornbushes, and grapes are not picked from bramble bushes. 45 A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart. What you say flows from what is in your heart.
In the context of marriage, and in general, Tripp made the point that everything we say and do is a reflection of our heart. So, every unkind, bitter, angry, selfish, or perverse things we say or do to our spouses in the “heat of the moment” in our marriages reveals something about us and the state of our hearts. Tripp spoke pointedly to the husbands and wives to understand that their spouse DOES NOT “make them do or say” anything. Your spouse does NOT make you behave badly. Your bad behavior comes from the inside, from somewhere in the deep recesses of your heart. Essentially, Tripp was exposing our tendency to play the “blame game” – to point to others and the circumstances of our environment as a “cause” for our poor behavior. Trip explained that although other people and the various circumstances may be the “occasion” for our poor behavior, they were not the cause of our poor behavior. Our poor behavior comes from our hearts and we “use” various “occasions” to release our ugliness or to do the forbidden desires of our hearts. Rather than recognize and take responsibility for the things we say and do, we look to blame others for “setting us off.” In marriage, we blame our spouses.
The Holy Spirit used God’s word and Tripp’s teaching to really open my eyes to see how I do this in my marriage. I have testified previously with my struggles with food addiction, overeating, comfort eating and of the many failures I have had in giving in to the my poor behaviors and if I think back to those instances, I would repeatedly blame the circumstances in my environment or other people that don’t have my struggles or convictions and I painfully admit that the person that I have blamed the most for my periodic failures is my wife, TammyLyn. She is not on my food plan and doesn’t have the struggles with addictive behaviors that I have. But regardless of her situation, I was painfully reminded of the fact that she or the foods in our countryside home are not the “cause” of my food failures. The cause is me and my heart that longs to give into the things that have been proven time and time again to not satisfy and that run contrary to my “convictions” and sabotage my best intentions.
Like the Old Testament prophet, Nathan to King David, Tripp’s teaching revealed to me that “I am the MAN!” – despite my progress with addiction, my heart still “wants what it wants” and will use virtually any occasion to cause me to give in to its desires. I can’t blame my wife, the contents of the cupboards or refrigerator, or the days of the week or holiday on the calendar as the reason for my failures. I see now, again, that it is from my heart that these failures flow. So I will be going to God to ask to change my heart and the good news is that He has already been helping me to see the ugly truth about myself and has already put me on the pathway to recovery before this revelation and I am rejoicing this morning as my scale is tipping in the right direction again this week as I have made some good choices to cut out things my heart was using as an occasion to make me fail and I have been diligent for the last few days to stay within the safe boundaries of my modified food plan.
When we walk with God, His Holy Spirit tries to guide us in the way we should go and all truth, but if we are not listening and walking in the flesh instead of the Spirit, we can wander quite a bit from where we want to go. But when we take an honest assessment of what we are doing and why we are doing it, the Lord can use His word and others in the body of Christ to guide us back to the light.
Speaking of God’s guiding us to the truth of His ways, today’s Turning Point with Dr. David Jeremiah devotion points to the sharp sword of God’s word as our means to redemption and sanctification so I am sharing it on the blog today to encourage us to seek God’s convicting truth to be set free. David Jeremiah writes:
“Living By the Sword
Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. – Ephesians 6:11, NIV
An earlier generation of Christians was raised on “sword drills” in Sunday school. Youngsters would line up and “draw swords,” which meant they held up their Bibles. Then a reference was given—perhaps Ephesians 6:17—and they raced to see who could turn there soonest. Scripture was their sword.
The Bible is not only a sword; it is also an entire armory of swords. Sometimes we use it defensively to withstand an attack on our faith or well-being (Ephesians 6:17). But sometimes the swords are aimed at us. We read a verse, hear a sermon, or talk with a friend, and immediately we feel the convicting power of the Holy Spirit. “For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart” (Hebrews 4:12).
Let the sword drill into you for your good and for God’s glory.” – David Jeremiah
The word, stored in the heart, provides a mental depository for the Holy Spirit to use to mediate His grace to us, whatever our need for grace might be. – Jerry Bridges
Amen. God’s word cuts like a sword but it has the surgical precision to cut us in a way that brings healing, but we have to have open mind, exposed heart, and willingness to let God’s word to work in us for us to receive it. So search the scriptures and seek Christian teaching in the areas where you have problems to let God use His word and His people to heal and change your heart.
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For those who want more evidence for Christianity than my simple encouragements provide, I offer apologist, Frank Turek’s website, https://crossexamined.org/.
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Today’s Bible verse comes to us from “The Quick Scripture Reference for Counseling” By John G. Kruis.
(While Bible verses on various topics of Counseling can be found with a quick Google search, we encourage you to purchase this resource to support the late author’s work. (The Quick Scripture Reference for Counseling By John G. Kruis on Amazon )
This morning’s meditation verses come from the section on Mixed Marriages.
2 Corinthians 6:14–16 (NIV) Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? Or what does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God has said: “I will live with them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be my people.”
Today’s verses fall under the first point of our counseling reference guide resource section on Mixed Marriages.
1. Don’t be yoked with an unbeliever.
Today’s Bible verses implore us not to have anything to do with darkness and even though we can’t play the blame game and point to others for our sin, we have to be wise and discerning with who we choose to spend our lives with so we don’t use them as an occasion to stay in the darkness.
I’m in recovery for addictions to alcohol, drugs, sex, and am currently fighting the good fight against unhealthy food habits. I’m also a Christian who has been set free from those things because of my faith and ongoing, surrendered, continuous relationship with God. So when a nasty divorce, left me alone and lonely, I had to decide what kind of person I would marry, if I ever chose to do so again. I decided that couldn’t be married to someone who drank, smoked, or used drugs. I also decided that because of my deep faith in Christ, I couldn’t marry anyone who wasn’t a Christian and who wasn’t authentic with their relationship with God. I knew the dangers of being unequally yoked and the Bible’s wisdom when the Lord blessed me with my second marriage to TammyLyn.
When God choses us He sets us apart and when we are His we have to be wise to follow His word to direct our lives. No matter how nice or attractive someone may be, if you are a Christian and they are not, say good-bye. Trust those who made mistakes in the past, but more importantly trust God’s word. Don’t be unequally yoked.
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As always, I invite all to go to mt4christ.com where I always share insights from prominent Christian theologians and counselors to assist my brothers and sisters in Christ with their walk.
Today we continue sharing from “Day by Day Along the Way” By Jay E. Adams.
As always, I share this information for educational purposes and encourage you all to purchase Adams’ books for your own private study and to support the late author’s work. This resource is available online for less than $20 at many sites.
Day 163
I will follow You wherever You go. – Luke 9:57
Again, we find someone with good intentions who had not counted the cost. Jesus spells it out—you won’t even have so much as a nest or a den! So, another, who heard Jesus say, “Follow Me,” did a double-take saying, in effect, “Sure, Lord, but first let me go bury my father.” Funeral activities sometimes took several days before they were completed. Jesus was in a hurry; there was an urgent mission He wanted fulfilled (the seventy almost immediately went out; Luke 10:1). If anyone would follow, there must be no delay. The unsaved (spiritually dead) could take care of the physically dead. This mission could not wait. It had to do with giving life! Not everything that you do for the Lord may be as hurried as this, but when He calls, you must drop all else and follow him. Nothing else is as important. If something is holding you back at this time, consider: “Should I relinquish it now and follow Jesus?”[1]
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[1] Jay E. Adams, Day by Day along the Way (Cordova, TN: Institute for Nouthetic Studies, 2020), 171.
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