Bible Study with the Cincottis – Leaving a Church – 04/26/2026
Today’s Bible Study, Authored by Arthur Cincotti.
Listen to our Bible Study Discussion at: Leaving a Church Audio Podcast
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Leaving a Church
“They went out from us, but they were not of us; for if they had been of us, they would have continued with us; but they went out that they might be made manifest, that none of them were of us.” I Jn. 2:19
Today’s topic is weighty because we will be discussing, what I consider an epidemic facing Western Christianity: church hopping. I have used the above Scripture because it is often inappropriately applied to the situation at hand. We will look, briefly, at its proper context and meaning in John’s first epistle. The larger subject is this phenomenon of changing churches within orthodox Christianity. I would love to say that I am presenting this from the outside looking in, but truth be told, Suzanna and I are, perhaps, the self-proclaimed experts on the subject; a title that we are not proud of.
Essentially, we will look at both good, healthy reasons for leaving a church and poor, unhealthy reasons. Finally, we will ask the question: what is it that we’re looking for that we can’t seem to find satisfaction, henceforth, all this movement? This is the condition of contemporary Christianity, which is not a good testimony before an unbelieving world. It’s bad enough that we have such contentions within our ranks. The fruit basket turnover identifies a confusion that fails to speak healing to an already confused culture.
To suggest that the Christian faith was ever unified would be inaccurate. Reading the epistles will quickly divulge that the church was plagued with heresies, doctrinal errors, and contentions, almost from the beginning. Sound doctrine is an important development for the early church, but the development of sound doctrine doesn’t mean that error suddenly disappeared. And it hasn’t disappeared yet. We all want to seek out sound doctrine, and that may involve movement from one setting to another, but there are appropriate ways to do that which we hope to demonstrate.
John’s epistle speaks of the end times and the activity of the “father of lies”, as Jesus called him, the antichrist. Antichrist, devil, Satan, and the serpent of old are used interchangeably in John’s epistles and Revelation. Jesus said of the devil, “When he speaks a lie, he speaks from his own resources, for he is a liar and the father of it.” Jn. 8:44. Lies are the things we are contending with in our soulish understanding. In our opening verse, John is speaking of those who have caved into the lie and abandoned the faith altogether. Error is not abandonment unless, when it is revealed as such, it is clung to. John is not speaking of those who have left a church, but of those who have left the church. This verse should never be invoked over those who have moved within the ranks, but some churches, who are so dogmatic and believe that their way is the only way, may sometimes misapply I Jn. 2:19.
The good news is that there are sound reasons for leaving a church or denomination in order to move to another, and sound doctrine is one of them. The sticking point is that every church believes that they are purporting sound doctrine. No group comes together and says, “We know that we’re wrong, but we’re going to keep on going this way regardless.” But lies are deceptive, and one of the tactics of the enemy is to divide and conquer from within. Paul writes to the church in Corinth, “But I fear, lest somehow, as the serpent deceived Eve by his craftiness, so your minds may be corrupted from the simplicity that is in Christ.” II Cor. 11:3. And this is the unfortunate condition within many churches as we continue to complicate the gospel.
When doctrinal error is genuinely discovered, it’s not the job of the discoverer to fix everything in an aggressive manner, but decency and order will be the general theme of our study today. Your personal prayer life and study of the Scriptures may bring you into disagreement and/or conflict with your pastors, leadership, and fellow believers. This is the place for sensible discussion. During the Reformation, much blood was spilled over such conflicts. Let’s not do that again. Your church family is the people whom you once loved and shared sweet fellowship with. This makes conflict all the more painful. They will most likely see you as “super spiritual,” and you will perceive them as deceived, stubborn, and unenlightened. At the end of a civil discussion, it may be necessary to part company. In a healthy church setting, your pastor will extend his blessing in the hope that you will truly grow in your relationship with Christ. You should likewise be willing to part as friends.
Paul had to confront doctrinal error with the churches in the province of Galatia. It broke his heart to find that what he had sown had so quickly been corrupted. He pleaded with the churches involved in his letter, which bears the title. Toward the end, he rather concludes by saying, “Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap.” Gal. 6:7. Sometimes we have to leave people whom we love to their error and let God sort it out in due season.
Another reason for leaving a church may be in the case of spiritual and/or any other form of abuse. Church relationships are bent toward intimacy. We stress that in our studies. But that intimacy can, and often does, turn ugly and inappropriate. It should go without saying that, whenever there is any form of physical or sexual abuse, it should be reported and exposed, if not just for your own sake but for the sake of other potential victims. If it is a pastor, for this reason, there are governing boards and leadership. No pastor is above reproach. If a pastor’s form of leadership is intent on controlling, then there is already something out of order. So-called “spiritual abuse” can precipitate from such personalities. Spiritual abuse is when a pastor’s authority ventures into inappropriate spheres of life. There is much grey area here, because it is the pastor’s office to shepherd the people in righteousness regarding finances, sexuality, family, and health, as well as spirituality. When this is not seasoned with grace, it turns controlling and filled with condemnation, then something is wrong, and it may be time to leave.
Another healthy reason to leave a church may be simple practicality. Perhaps you sense a calling to a ministry that your church doesn’t support. This is a real tug on your heart, and you are sure that it is of God. Once again, prayer, wise counsel, and discussion with leadership will be in order. God frequently moves people around in order to advance His kingdom. Church relationship is not a marriage. Parting should be amiable.
Just as surely, there are inappropriate reasons to leave a church, which sadly seem to be more common: someone has offended you. There are Biblical methods to address that. There is something cool happening at the church down the street. You’ll never exhaust that foolish approach to church life. I’m not recognized for all that I do around here; “Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.” Prov. 16:18
Most importantly, if and when you are legitimately shown to be in error or acting inappropriately, and Biblical discipline has been recommended or applied, this is not a healthy reason to bail. Our confession before God should always be: “Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me, and know my anxieties; And see if there is any wicked way in me, And lead me in the way everlasting.” Ps. 139:23-24. Guess what, God will use people in spiritual authority to flesh that out. It is best, in these situations, to humbly repent and “let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.” Js. 1:4 Remember, when you run away from your issues, you always take yourself with you. “Who can understand his errors? Cleanse me from secret faults. Keep back Your servant also from presumptuous sins; Let them not have dominion over me. Then I shall be blameless, and I shall be innocent of great transgression. Ps. 19:12-13
The church is beautifully designed by God to force us into a relationship with one another and with Himself. “If someone says, ‘I love God,’ and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen, how can he love God whom he has not seen?” I Jn. 4:20
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