Friends to the Bitter End – Friendship Myths # 7 – Purity 1339
Purity 1339 04/30/2024 Purity 1339 Podcast
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Good morning,
Today’s photo of an earlier morning view of Stuyvesant Falls shrouded in shadow as the sun illuminates trees that surround them comes to us from yours truly as I dived back into my phone’s photo archive to discover this memory from the morning of August 22, 2020. When I reflected on this photo, I thought “this was on the other side of victory” as my exodus to my new home “down by the River” had only been a couple of months behind me. Although I was still working two jobs at the time, I was positively filled with joy and took advantage of every moment to celebrate – even the time after going to the dump to and before going to work.
Well, It’s Tuesday, and I am happy to report that my joy and my freedom have actually increased since those happy days in 2020 as I have continued to walk in the Spirit and the Lord has continued to bless me with new opportunities and new friends along the way. However, we know from experience that the friends we make today and walk with may not be with us further down the road.
As I looked back in my photo archive before 2020, I saw some old familiar faces of friends now gone from my life. Some have gone into eternity and others moved out of my life as circumstances revealed that we weren’t as close as I thought we were, and their loyalties lay elsewhere. I hold no ill will toward them and would still consider them “friends” I suppose but because of time, circumstances, and distance we don’t hang out anymore and because I know now how disloyal they revealed themselves to be, I’m not sure if that would change even if they got closer geographically.
And that brings us to our current series on friendship myths and today’s myth, which was inspired by Sarah Epstein’s 2022 Psychology Today article on destructive beliefs about friendship (https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/between-the-generations/202202/8-destructive-beliefs-about-friendship). Today’s myth is:
“Friendship means pledging eternal loyalty.” And Epstein’s commentary stated:
“Friendships can guide us through our most traumatic life periods. Friends are there when school is hard, when work is unfulfilling, and when family members feel unreasonable. This deep support can give rise to a deep sense of loyalty toward the friendship. But help from a friend does not warrant eternal loyalty if the friendship begins to sour. Friends earn each other’s loyalty through continual input into the relationship and working together to grow the friendship. While a good friend in one moment deserves gratitude and perhaps the benefit of the doubt and the opportunity to rectify issues, eternal loyalty is simply unreasonable.”
OOF, that one comment – “help from a friend does not warrant eternal loyalty” seemed downright ungrateful, cold, or self-serving. “Thanks for helping, bye! See ya!” And I think, many of us can relate to being hurt by people that we thought were our friends only to realize that they only wanted something from us, and when our task was completed we found ourselves left alone struggling with the realization that we were being used more than building a friendship. In those instances, as bad as it is, I suppose that we are given the blessing of discovering their true colors sooner rather than later…
So that stinks, but when the shoe is on the other foot – when we think we need to be loyal to the people who have helped us to the bitter end, we need to realize, as Epstein states, that “Friends earn each other’s loyalty through continual input into the relationship and working together to grow the friendship.”
If there is no continual input into the relationship by both friends and if both parties aren’t working to grow the friendship, we have to realize that while we should express our gratitude for things done in the past, it doesn’t necessarily mean that we have to guarantee the same level of fellowship, camaraderie, or loyalty in the future. If our relationships are one-sided – where we are the ones loyally giving of ourselves while the other party barely shows up or continually disappoints or is just headed in a different direction than we are, it’s okay to reconsider our loyalty to that friend and seek to establish boundaries that will match their level of friendship. If the friendship would disappear if not for your efforts, it may be best to let it fade away so we can invest ourselves in relationships where we can receive as much as we give.
I have been disappointed by a few friends over the years and as painful as it was to discover that we weren’t as close as I thought or that they were not as trustworthy as I thought, I am still thankful for the help they gave me and the lessons I learned, both bad and good, through knowing them.
The word says we are to love one another and so we should, however, it also tells us to avoid bad company and when others fail to return the love you give or walk in ways that are contrary to where God would lead us, it’s okay to separate ourselves from them and invest ourselves in relationships where the love and effort is mutual and where our loyalty to God can hold us together.
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For those who want more evidence for Christianity than my simple encouragements provide, I offer apologist, Frank Turek’s website, https://crossexamined.org/ .
Today’s Bible verse come to us from “The Quick Scripture Reference for Counseling” By John G. Kruis.
( While Bible verses on various topics of Counseling can be found with a quick Google search, we encourage you to purchase this resource to support the late author’s work. (https://www.amazon.com/Quick-Scripture-Reference-Counseling-Kruis-ebook/dp/B00CIUJZT2?ref_=ast_author_dp )
This morning’s meditation verse come from the section on Death and Eternal Life
John 3:36 (NASB)
36 “He who believes in the Son has eternal life; but he who does not obey the Son will not see life, but the wrath of God abides on him.”
Today’s verse is the third of four passages of scripture that fall under the nineteenth point of our counseling reference guide resource’s section on Death and Eternal Life.
19. All who believe in Jesus will have eternal life.
Today’s verse are the words of Jesus and He makes it clear that if we don’t OBEY the Son, we will not see life and the wrath of God will be upon us.
With verses like this, how could anyone possibly believe that there is more than one way to God?
He who believes in the Son – Jesus, very specifically, has life. Period.
And it is very interesting here how the Lord contrasts – belief with the failure to OBEY the Son. I mean what does Jesus mean was He says those who fail to “obey the Son will not see life” Why Obey?
Because Jesus TOLD US TO, commands us to believe in me.
John 14:1 (NKJV)
1 “Let not your heart be troubled; you believe in God, believe also in Me.
John 5:24 (NKJV)
24 “Most assuredly, I say to you, he who hears My word and believes in Him who sent Me has everlasting life, and shall not come into judgment, but has passed from death into life.
John 12:44-50 (NKJV)
44 Then Jesus cried out and said, “He who believes in Me, believes not in Me but in Him who sent Me.
45 And he who sees Me sees Him who sent Me.
46 I have come as a light into the world, that whoever believes in Me should not abide in darkness.
47 And if anyone hears My words and does not believe, I do not judge him; for I did not come to judge the world but to save the world.
48 He who rejects Me, and does not receive My words, has that which judges him–the word that I have spoken will judge him in the last day.
49 For I have not spoken on My own authority; but the Father who sent Me gave Me a command, what I should say and what I should speak.
50 And I know that His command is everlasting life. Therefore, whatever I speak, just as the Father has told Me, so I speak.”
And from yesterday, and a little more,
John 3:16-18 (NKJV)
16 For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.
17 For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved.
18 He who believes in Him is not condemned; but he who does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.
And from the Apostle John:
John 20:30-31 (NKJV)
30 And truly Jesus did many other signs in the presence of His disciples, which are not written in this book;
31 but these are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that believing you may have life in His name.
So we are to OBEY Jesus – and receive eternal life – by believing in Him. We are saved by faith in Jesus and to do anything else than to believe in Him is to reject the life that God has for us in eternity. So be obedient and keep on believing and share the gospel so that others can obey and believe and live.
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As always, I invite all to go to mt4christ.com where I always share insights from prominent Christian theologians and counselors to assist my brothers and sisters in Christ with their walk.
Today we continue sharing from “According to Your Word: Morning and Evening Through the New Testament” By Stephen F. Olford – A Collection of Devotional Journals: 1940-1941.
As always, I share this information for educational purposes and encourage you all to purchase Olford’s books for your own private study and to support his work. This resource is available online for less than $10 at many sites.
MORNING READING: ACTS 10
“God shows no partiality… . Whoever fears Him and
works righteousness is accepted by Him.” – Acts 10:34-35
These verses contain the message that Peter preached to Cornelius and his house. When analyzed, it is very instructive to observe the whole Gospel in it, such as Christ commanded all disciples to teach.
God is no respecter of persons (v. 34). “There is no difference; for all have sinned” (Rom. 3:22-23), and yet all are entitled, through the acceptance in faith, to the “preaching peace through Jesus Christ – He is Lord of all” (Acts 10:36). God has sent a Savior (v. 38), whose life attested His divine mission and power. The Savior, His death by crucifixion (v. 39). The Savior, His resurrection (v. 40). God raised Him from the dead, thus setting His seal upon His life and death (atoning). The Savior, the Forgiver of Sins to all who believe in Him (v. 43). The Sovereign work of the Holy Spirit in the lives of all those who believe (v. 44). Then, “he commanded them to be baptized in the name of the Lord” (v. 48).
Lord, let the Gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ
be preached clearly and completely.[1]
—————————more tomorrow————————
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“The views, opinions, and commentary of this publication are those of the author, M.T. Clark, only, and do not purport to reflect the opinions or views of any of the photographers, artists, ministries, or other authors of the other works that may be included in this publication, and do not necessarily reflect the views or positions of any entities the author may represent.”
Encouragement for the Path of Christian Discipleship
[1] Stephen Olford and Heather Olford, According to Your Word: Morning and Evening Through the New Testament, A Collection of Devotional Journals 1940-1941 (Nashville, TN: B&H Books, 2008).
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